Have you ever felt you should be so completely happy with your life and everything you’ve achieved but somehow, deep down, feel unfulfilled and empty? I certainly have. When I was finally able to admit that to myself, it initiated quite a journey of personal transformation.
The catalyst for this life overhaul began with the cold, hard realization that I was a mere shadow of my true essence. On the surface, I had it going on! I was a highly compensated executive with a multinational corporation in a role where I manifested and sustained enterprise-wide culture change and embedded revolutionary HR practices. (Can’t you just feel the emptiness radiating from that statement?!)
Oh, yes, I received a plethora of material rewards and recognition, but I was so far from Source that I couldn’t glimpse even a sliver of a ray of the light of grace and abundance. I worked so hard at avoiding the truth of who I was, distracting myself with shopaholic and compulsive workaholic addictions.
Until finally, one day, I just stopped. I was so depleted mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually that I just crashed. I stopped. I mean EVERYTHING: my job, my boyfriend, getting out of my pajamas – hell, who am I kidding – I even stopped getting out of bed!
Slowly but surely, I began the quest back to my true essence by exploring what I call The Three Selves: self-sabotage, self-care, and self-love.
First, I had to admit to self-sabotage. Why was I running myself into the ground and what was I running from? Why was I subjecting my mind to a toxic environment with relentless expectations to accomplish more and more, but fewer and fewer resources? Why, oh why, was I subjecting my body to 10 – 12 hour days of stationary existence under fluorescent lights 6 – 7 days a week with barely time for restroom breaks while existing on caffeine and packages of peanut butter crackers from the vending machine?
I had to initiate self-care. I remembered how as a child I took refuge from my abusive homelife by running into the woods and hiding in the trees where Mother Nature comforted and nurtured me. Much to my relief, I discovered she was still there waiting for me with open arms! I strengthened my physical body through a balanced diet of nutritious whole foods and plenty of fresh air and sunshine courtesy of hikes in nature.
And finally, I faced the hardest self of all, self-love. I found it by restarting my journaling and mediation practices which had saved me from burnout in my 20s. I also began to study spirituality and energy healing at Zen Within Academy. I received coaching and treatments from Katie Sutton, the founder of Zen Within and my mentor, who helped me release that which no longer served and rediscover that which made my heart sing.
Over the course of several months, I began to build a foundation of spiritual and energetic practices. I equipped myself with protective measures and tools to release foreign energy and programs and to replace them with the light of grace and love.
Yes, as I finally discovered, there is a path back to vitality and passion for life. It takes tremendous courage to face the truth of the choices you’ve made, but the rewards for doing so are complete ownership of your future and the return of a deeply seated inner peace and joy. And this, dear friend, is what I wish for you. Sending you blessings and grace for your journey.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kathy Cartwright has two great passions: to learn and to serve in the actualization of human potential. Her most gratifying projects encompass the pursuit of humanity’s latest frontier: the intersection of science, technology and spirituality. You’re equally likely to find her hiking in a forest as taking a class exploring mechanisms that unite left and right brain capabilities to further evolve humankind. In the pursuit of this avocation, Kathy is a student of the Zen Within Academy where she has completed both the Awakening and Embracing Programs and is currently enrolled in the Unveiling Program.