Have you ever taken a leap of faith? If so, were you completely terrified right before leaping?
I sure was.
This past weekend I stepped out of my spiritual closet and into the light in a way I had never done before when I did my first public channeling event.
For those of you who don’t know what channeling is let me explain it to you.
The channeler (me) sits in front of a room full of people and steps out of their body into their spirit (astral) body to some degree (in my case I am an integrated channel because I choose to continue to be partially “in” during the session) and allows other beings to step into their body so they can share their messages with the people sitting across from them.
I am also a tonal and energetic channel, so sometimes the messages are in the form of a vocal tone or energetic healing.
Sounds easy right? It’s not.
This ability, although I have come to realize is something I’ve been born with, takes years of clearing and preparation to ensure that the channel is open and the messages are not only received but are coming from the highest vibration possible.
I’ve spent years doing deep inner work and learning how to hone my natural empathic abilities to be able to do this. This type of channeling often happens very easily when I am in session with a single client, but when you put 30 people (yes, 30 people showed up when I expected 10!!) in a room together, you can imagine the type of energetic container that has to be held.
But nevertheless, when I heard from my guides that I was supposed to schedule my first event in February 2019 I did. I took the leap of faith because I knew in my bones that is what I am supposed to be doing.
I scheduled my first event before I even knew how to articulate what the public could expect from such an event or how I would run a large channeling or who would be coming through.
And slowly ahead of the event, I began getting more and more clarity about how to do it, who would be there (I got introduced to my Council of 18 who will be supporting my channeling events going forward), and I also received all the healings and clearings I needed to be able to do the work.
Some of them were grueling, there was one particularly difficult stretch of 7 days where I dreamed for 8 hours straight each night about a single emotion like Fear, Sadness, Anxiety, etc to prepare me for what I would “feel” when I was in the room with a group of people who bring all their human emotions to the table.
But the entire time leading up to the event I was completely held and supported by Source, because I was preparing to step into my work in a way that was in alignment with who I came here to be.
Even still, just minutes before the event, I experienced extreme fear and wanted to run out of the room, but in that moment I was supported by both my team on the physical plane (Thank you, Gail!) and on the spiritual plane.
I was able to breathe through the fear into the space of knowingness. The knowingness that brought tears to my eyes when I realized that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and that extreme fear meant I was headed in a direction that was very important.
But you know what? After the event, even though all the participants were over the moon happy with what occurred and we hugged and connected and everyone felt lighter, I was still judging myself. Feeling like I could have done more.
And rather than push that aside when everyone told me it wasn’t true, I sat with it. I examined the truth behind it (what could I have done to prepare better, how could I have supported myself and others more) and the untruths behind it as well (how was my inner critic being too harsh and unrealistic) .
I learned how my ego gets in the way and my fears creep in and how to feel all that while also feeling held and supported in the fact that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing.
You see…it’s possible to feel fear, and self judgement and also realize that it’s all perfect. We are complex beings and we can experience all those things at once and still move forward, still take the leap of faith.
And as I sat two days later across from my grandmother who is beginning her transition process to the great oneness, no longer able to speak, I heard her call out to me telepathically.
I knew I was supposed to go to her after my event, but I had no idea what I was to do there other than say goodbye. She shared with me in that moment that she was scared, but not of death.
She was scared that she wouldn’t be able to do all that was needed of her to clear the long history in our female lineage of not having a voice, of not sharing our abilities with the world. That she would let me down as I step more fully into my work.
And with tears in my eyes I told her soul that she was enough, she is enough. That the work is not hers alone, that I appreciate all she is doing to clear this with her passing, this passing that comes after years of not being able to use her voice as it was taken from her by dementia.
But that this work is also mine and as I step out into the world, shedding my armor standing in vulnerability embracing who I am, I heal for all the women in my family.
And as I helped her soul shed karma and cords and other things that bind her to this world as best I could, I was reminded that none of that would be possible if I hadn’t taken the leap of faith many years ago to step out from behind my big corporate job and start to explore what truly made me happy.
And I was also reminded that all roads led me here to this very moment where I was doing important work to support someone in this world who I love dearly who doesn’t have a voice anymore.
That in all things no matter how hard, we are supported.
So my friends take the leap of faith, do the thing you think is impossible, because life is too short not to and you are too special to be hidden away not shining your light in the world.
With Love and Sincere Connection,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Katie Sutton founded the Zen Within Academy after graduating from the Boulder Psychic Institute in 2017. She is also a certified professional wellness coach, sound healer, and intuitive channel with over 12 years of experience within the health and wellness industry.
Her personal experience with stress induced chronic illness led her to a path of awakening and self healing. She now takes the same techniques she has honed for her own wellness and shares those in 1:1 healing sessions, workshops, retreats, and in her Zen Within Academy programs.